install theme

What is a girl to do?

How do I explain how I am feeling lately? I feel disgusting, sad, miserable, pathetic and hopeless. I feel lost and confused. I feel alone and unworthy. And I don’t know what to do anymore.

The world is slowly getting darker and I am quickly loosing hope.

I want to run away from the world and hide from everything that has hurt me. I want to disappear and not deal with the pain that I am feeling. I want to crawl in a corner and turn my back on everything.

BUT I CAN’T and all I can do is cry.

And honestly, I am so tired of crying.

There are so many feelings coursing through my body and I can’t handle it anymore. My own brain is driving me crazy and I want to crash my head through a wall, I want to make the thoughts stop but such is life.

I can’t stop the negative thoughts from flowing through my head and they are flowing so fast.

What if I’m not worth it? What if I’m not good enough? What if I’ll never be enough?

I’m alone and I am scared and more importantly, I am tired of being alone. I want to be cared for, held, wanted and loved.

I just fear that if he claimed he loved me and yet wants nothing to do with me, then why will anyone else? Why is a stranger going to want a broken, tangled mess like me? Am I destined to be alone forever?

And I know it shouldn’t matter… I know I should be happy without someone else but I can’t help but to feel like there’s something wrong with me, like there’s a particular reason that I am still alone.

And then on top of it all, I think I love him… a guy that is no good for me and uses me for what he wants to then throw me aside like a piece of trash. I know I should ignore him, cut him out of my life and yet I always go crawling back to him, for almost two years now. I hate myself for caring about him and I wish I didn’t but feelings are feelings and I can’t pretend they aren’t real. I just wish they weren’t so strong.

My head hurts so bad because my thoughts won’t stop screaming and I can’t ignore or deny them any longer.

What is a girl to do?

I’m tired

Tired of people and being let down